Q. I have the hots for this girl I’ve known for about a year. We have spent time together and I know she feels the same.
My problem is, I’m separated from my wife and it's putting her off. I need to know how to make her jealous without making it obvious and also how to eventually win her heart.
Maybe she feels I’m not to be trusted cause I’ve cheated on girls before. I know she feels the same but I don’t want to make a fool of myself. Thanks...
A. Hello,
Well, you could get back with the ex and have the best sex of your life – that’d make her jealous! No, I think there’s a better way.
I think you really want to do two things:
1) Make her jealous; and,
2) Change her mind about you, your ex and your past.
If you just go out and start banging a bunch of women and make it obvious, she's going to think you're a player, which will just put her off even further.
On the other hand, if you just seem to be busy - and aren't around when she calls or wants to talk, her feminine mind will start working and you'll have the power you're looking for. So, do this:
1) Be scarce. Don't answer the phone, and take at least a few days to call her back.
2) Never answer the phone, or make return calls to her on the weekends - after all, you're busy, right?
3) Always cut any conversation with her short by saying, "Oh, sorry - I have to run. I'll call you later... bye." [click!]
4) Talk about the great time you had with a "friend" the other night. Don't specify the sex of this "friend".
5) When you are out with her, have fun! Make your time with her something to remember – but don’t hesitate to flirt a little with other women too. Bring them in and make the part of the party!
Finally, for God's sake - don't talk about your wife with this woman other than to say how much you’re over her! Every time you bring her up in a positive vein, you're just confirming her greatest fear - that she's still in the picture. No woman wants to have to compete with that!
Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Q & A: How To Handle A “Dry Spell”
Q. I seem to have hit a recent dry-spell with women. Every woman I keep running into is already "involved" with someone else, have messed up lives, or something is mentally wrong with them! For a while I'll have plenty of women to choose from, then all of a sudden, the well runs dry! The old ones start boring me, and the new ones are basically fucked up! Is this common?
Is it really a numbers game like they say? I'd like to get back on the right track as quick as possible!
Thanks Doc!
A. Hello,
This is actually quite common. You're going to have the feast/famine scenario pretty regularly, but that's not a bad thing - if you make use of the feast side of things and plan for the famine.
The trick is to gather numbers when the gettin' is good, and to harvest those numbers when things get slim. Remember that you want to space things out a little bit so that you’re not calling women back before a week anyway. If you play things right, you can actually make contact with them and put them back another 2 weeks, make contact again, etc. You can only do this about 3-4 times before she’s going to go crazy wondering if you’re ever going to actually meet her however!
Further, yes - you're going to find that many women you meet are either crazy, demanding, game-playing, claim to already be hooked up, (even though they just spent the last 40 minutes flirting with you), or just down-right bitches! This is just the rule of the game. You won't know these things until after you call them back, so be ready. These are the hazards...
Is it really a numbers game like they say? I'd like to get back on the right track as quick as possible!
Thanks Doc!
A. Hello,
This is actually quite common. You're going to have the feast/famine scenario pretty regularly, but that's not a bad thing - if you make use of the feast side of things and plan for the famine.
The trick is to gather numbers when the gettin' is good, and to harvest those numbers when things get slim. Remember that you want to space things out a little bit so that you’re not calling women back before a week anyway. If you play things right, you can actually make contact with them and put them back another 2 weeks, make contact again, etc. You can only do this about 3-4 times before she’s going to go crazy wondering if you’re ever going to actually meet her however!
Further, yes - you're going to find that many women you meet are either crazy, demanding, game-playing, claim to already be hooked up, (even though they just spent the last 40 minutes flirting with you), or just down-right bitches! This is just the rule of the game. You won't know these things until after you call them back, so be ready. These are the hazards...
Q & A: Two Girls: Who to Choose?
Q. Hi, I'm sort of in a complicated situation and in need of some advice. There's this girl I'm really interested in (I'll call her Lisa), and I knew her for about 7 years (I'm 22), but we've just recently got close (4 months now) and are in the same circle of friends.About 2 months ago, it seemed like she was really interested in me, and we had a lot of nice chats, etc.But a few weeks ago, I think one of Lisa's close friend (Cindy) told her that she was interested in me. Now, being a nice/sorta shy girl, Lisa seems to be backing up and I feel she tries avoiding me sometimes.. while Cindy is starting to be a lot more friendly and tries to spend more time with me.
I'm the type of guy that sticks to one girl I like, and nearly ignore all other girls.. So I would still like to go for Lisa. Now her birthday is coming up in just a few weeks and im not sure if I should do something to give her a clear hint that im interested in her, or if I should hold back and see if anything will happen naturally over time. (sorta doubt this will happen 'cuz of the situation with Cindy). Lisa doesnt seem to show as much interest in me as before, while Cindy seems to try talking to me more often, as well as hanging out with me. Plus, I know they have "girl talks" with each other.. and Cindy tells everything while Lisa mostly listens.
I'm just not sure her birthday is an appropriate time to make my move since.. lately, Lisa hasn't been showing as much interest as before
Lastly, I'm sure there's at least one other guy that seems to be interested in Lisa.. but I dont think she wants to be anything more than friends with him.. I'm mentioning this just in case (sorta feel rushed, since I really like her and dont want to lose her to some other event that could happen).
please help, thanks.
A. Ah, two women to choose from. Hang on while I play a little sad violin for you....
Okay, now let me see if I can help you out of this dilemma ....
First of all, keep in mind that things don't just happen 'naturally.' If you want something to happen, you must be willing to take action. Things don't improve by default, they improve by design. So if you want something to happen with you and Lisa, you'll have to take a risk and make an advance. If she's interested, she'll respond. If she doesn't (no matter what reason you can invent for her not taking action) she is not REALLY interested. The bottom line is the result you get, and if she doesn't respond, you can blame her shyness, or whatever, but the reality is that you don't want a woman who can't act on her desires (any more than she would want a man who wouldn't act on his.)
Next, you sound like you're in a hurry. In fact, you mention you feel in a rush. Why? It's been 7 years. What's the hurry? If something were going to happen, a few more weeks wouldn't make a difference at this point.
Also, you state that you are "the type of guy that sticks to one girl I like, and nearly ignore all other girls." I don't know what your reason is for making this your identity, but I can only tell you that it will cause you much more pain in your dealings with women than it will help you.
1) Your single-minded focus will come across as smothering and obsessive on that one woman. (They can smell this a mile away, and it's a BIG turnoff.)
2) The confidence you exude when you date more than one woman will rub off, and you'll experience even more success with the ones you decide are a priority. Success breeds success.
3) Women may lead you to believe (by subtle comments and cultural stigma) that they don't want a man who dates many women. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are attracted to a man that is in demand. Now, if you settle into a regular relationship, they will want you to stick with just one. But that's your decision.
So, what advice do I have for you? In addition to the above, here's my recipe of action:
- Call up Lisa, ask her out to something short, sweet, and fun. At the end of the date, bust a move -- kiss her at the end. If she resists or balks, find out what her objections are. If they can be overcome, go on. If it's too complicated, then on to ...
- Call up Cindy. Same plan.
- Call up next girl. Same plan.
- Repeat until goal is reached.
It sounds like Lisa's interest is low -- probably because you two have been friends for so long, and she isn't going to jeopardize that -- and that you should set your sights on someone who is interested -- Cindy.
BIG POINT: And you might notice that Cindy is probably keeping a high interest level because you are NOT focusing all your energies on her. You're probably a little aloof and ignoring her -- and she responds to this. Lisa probably would, too. See how this works? This is why the ones you want always keep you at a distance while the ones you don't want are flocking in the wings.
The Bottom line? There are too many girls out there to get too hung up on one. Think of how foolish you'll feel in six months if you look back and see all the precious time you wasted on women who weren't interested. The time to act is now!
I'm the type of guy that sticks to one girl I like, and nearly ignore all other girls.. So I would still like to go for Lisa. Now her birthday is coming up in just a few weeks and im not sure if I should do something to give her a clear hint that im interested in her, or if I should hold back and see if anything will happen naturally over time. (sorta doubt this will happen 'cuz of the situation with Cindy). Lisa doesnt seem to show as much interest in me as before, while Cindy seems to try talking to me more often, as well as hanging out with me. Plus, I know they have "girl talks" with each other.. and Cindy tells everything while Lisa mostly listens.
I'm just not sure her birthday is an appropriate time to make my move since.. lately, Lisa hasn't been showing as much interest as before
Lastly, I'm sure there's at least one other guy that seems to be interested in Lisa.. but I dont think she wants to be anything more than friends with him.. I'm mentioning this just in case (sorta feel rushed, since I really like her and dont want to lose her to some other event that could happen).
please help, thanks.
A. Ah, two women to choose from. Hang on while I play a little sad violin for you....
Okay, now let me see if I can help you out of this dilemma ....
First of all, keep in mind that things don't just happen 'naturally.' If you want something to happen, you must be willing to take action. Things don't improve by default, they improve by design. So if you want something to happen with you and Lisa, you'll have to take a risk and make an advance. If she's interested, she'll respond. If she doesn't (no matter what reason you can invent for her not taking action) she is not REALLY interested. The bottom line is the result you get, and if she doesn't respond, you can blame her shyness, or whatever, but the reality is that you don't want a woman who can't act on her desires (any more than she would want a man who wouldn't act on his.)
Next, you sound like you're in a hurry. In fact, you mention you feel in a rush. Why? It's been 7 years. What's the hurry? If something were going to happen, a few more weeks wouldn't make a difference at this point.
Also, you state that you are "the type of guy that sticks to one girl I like, and nearly ignore all other girls." I don't know what your reason is for making this your identity, but I can only tell you that it will cause you much more pain in your dealings with women than it will help you.
1) Your single-minded focus will come across as smothering and obsessive on that one woman. (They can smell this a mile away, and it's a BIG turnoff.)
2) The confidence you exude when you date more than one woman will rub off, and you'll experience even more success with the ones you decide are a priority. Success breeds success.
3) Women may lead you to believe (by subtle comments and cultural stigma) that they don't want a man who dates many women. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are attracted to a man that is in demand. Now, if you settle into a regular relationship, they will want you to stick with just one. But that's your decision.
So, what advice do I have for you? In addition to the above, here's my recipe of action:
- Call up Lisa, ask her out to something short, sweet, and fun. At the end of the date, bust a move -- kiss her at the end. If she resists or balks, find out what her objections are. If they can be overcome, go on. If it's too complicated, then on to ...
- Call up Cindy. Same plan.
- Call up next girl. Same plan.
- Repeat until goal is reached.
It sounds like Lisa's interest is low -- probably because you two have been friends for so long, and she isn't going to jeopardize that -- and that you should set your sights on someone who is interested -- Cindy.
BIG POINT: And you might notice that Cindy is probably keeping a high interest level because you are NOT focusing all your energies on her. You're probably a little aloof and ignoring her -- and she responds to this. Lisa probably would, too. See how this works? This is why the ones you want always keep you at a distance while the ones you don't want are flocking in the wings.
The Bottom line? There are too many girls out there to get too hung up on one. Think of how foolish you'll feel in six months if you look back and see all the precious time you wasted on women who weren't interested. The time to act is now!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
What is it that girls really want and why isn't it me?
Note to the reader. If this seems to be a very self-centered and drawn out whine that's because that is what this basically is. What some would call a whine I shall call the discussion of my problems and if this seems self-centered that's because I can only discuss things from my own perspective.
Ok what is it that girls really want? I mean come on, all you hear about today is girls wanting someone that they can talk to and relate to. That they want someone who will listen to them and at least pretend to give a damn. That they aren't really looking for those "bad boys". Yet who do they always end up with, the "bad" boys of course. Nice guys finish last because THEY ARE NICE GUYS. Nice guys don't say the degrading and sometimes insulting pickup lines that gets you noticed by girls. They don't draw a lot of attention to themselves like bad boys so they aren't going to be noticed this way either. If you are at club the "bad" boys are going to be hitting on girls left and right, bumping and grinding, and feeling them up. The "nice" guys will be the ones that will dance with them but won't be all over them and speaking from experience the girls go with the "bad" boys on this score.
OK let's take a quick look then at why the "bad" boys behave the way they do versus the way "nice" guys (for the sake of convenience BB will be "bad" boys and NG "nice" guys). The BBs tend to be the good-looking jocks with egos that could fill a stadium. They really could care less about the girl or a relationship as long as they can score. This means that they will be all over a lot of different in a short amount of time. They will also be more outrageous and outgoing because they don't care about starting a relationship so they have nothing to lose. The NGs on the other hand are most likely shy and reserved gentlemen. They tend to be the intelligent ones who always got picked on at school and don't have enough self-confidence to fill a balloon. The NG has two major handicaps that the BBs don't have to worry about. First off, NGs generally have low self-confidence to begin with so a rejection or even the fear of rejection can often be enough to keep him from doing anything. Secondly, a NG isn't looking for a one-night-stand. He's not out cruising for chicks just so that he can get lucky. A NG is looking for a lasting relationship. Something that means something and that is a lot harder to find than a willing girl.
I think that covers most of the main differences between BBs and NGs. Now we get to the personal stuff. I am an eighteen-year-old boy who: has never been very popular/outgoing, went to an all boys high school, is a "brain"(honor roll and all that stuff), has always been a "good" boy (I went drinking for the first time this past week!), and I'm a NG. What it basically boils down to is I don't know jack shit about girls and I'm to shy/nice of a guy to just go out cruising.
I We all make our own choices though and I am sick and tired of getting the short end of the stick so I'm starting to do something about it. The problem is that I'm at a loss as to what I should do. By the accounts that I have been given by different girls that are friends of mine I should have girls lining up around the block to meet me. I'm intelligent and moderately good-looking. I can cook, bake, give great massages, love to talk/listen, like to dance, enjoys a well-done "chick" flick, and I write poetry (yes, mostly love). For those of you out there who are thinking it no I am not gay. Most of my best friends are or have been girls and most of the time the friendship started because I was attracted to them. But none of these friendships have grown to be more than that. I'm not saying that I'm only friends with these girls because they are attractive. I'm not the superficial and shallow. Most of these friendships become something that I truly value and they become something of a foundation in the rest of my life.
Well since I'm up the creek without a paddle should I abandon the boat all together? Should I become one of the BBs and content my self with just scoring? I don't think I will do this even it is the most immediately gratifying answer and the easiest. So on behalf of all NGs everywhere I entreat you, I beg you, take a close look at the people around you, at the guys you meet. Try and look past the exterior and the first impression to see what a man is really made out of.
Ok what is it that girls really want? I mean come on, all you hear about today is girls wanting someone that they can talk to and relate to. That they want someone who will listen to them and at least pretend to give a damn. That they aren't really looking for those "bad boys". Yet who do they always end up with, the "bad" boys of course. Nice guys finish last because THEY ARE NICE GUYS. Nice guys don't say the degrading and sometimes insulting pickup lines that gets you noticed by girls. They don't draw a lot of attention to themselves like bad boys so they aren't going to be noticed this way either. If you are at club the "bad" boys are going to be hitting on girls left and right, bumping and grinding, and feeling them up. The "nice" guys will be the ones that will dance with them but won't be all over them and speaking from experience the girls go with the "bad" boys on this score.
OK let's take a quick look then at why the "bad" boys behave the way they do versus the way "nice" guys (for the sake of convenience BB will be "bad" boys and NG "nice" guys). The BBs tend to be the good-looking jocks with egos that could fill a stadium. They really could care less about the girl or a relationship as long as they can score. This means that they will be all over a lot of different in a short amount of time. They will also be more outrageous and outgoing because they don't care about starting a relationship so they have nothing to lose. The NGs on the other hand are most likely shy and reserved gentlemen. They tend to be the intelligent ones who always got picked on at school and don't have enough self-confidence to fill a balloon. The NG has two major handicaps that the BBs don't have to worry about. First off, NGs generally have low self-confidence to begin with so a rejection or even the fear of rejection can often be enough to keep him from doing anything. Secondly, a NG isn't looking for a one-night-stand. He's not out cruising for chicks just so that he can get lucky. A NG is looking for a lasting relationship. Something that means something and that is a lot harder to find than a willing girl.
I think that covers most of the main differences between BBs and NGs. Now we get to the personal stuff. I am an eighteen-year-old boy who: has never been very popular/outgoing, went to an all boys high school, is a "brain"(honor roll and all that stuff), has always been a "good" boy (I went drinking for the first time this past week!), and I'm a NG. What it basically boils down to is I don't know jack shit about girls and I'm to shy/nice of a guy to just go out cruising.
I We all make our own choices though and I am sick and tired of getting the short end of the stick so I'm starting to do something about it. The problem is that I'm at a loss as to what I should do. By the accounts that I have been given by different girls that are friends of mine I should have girls lining up around the block to meet me. I'm intelligent and moderately good-looking. I can cook, bake, give great massages, love to talk/listen, like to dance, enjoys a well-done "chick" flick, and I write poetry (yes, mostly love). For those of you out there who are thinking it no I am not gay. Most of my best friends are or have been girls and most of the time the friendship started because I was attracted to them. But none of these friendships have grown to be more than that. I'm not saying that I'm only friends with these girls because they are attractive. I'm not the superficial and shallow. Most of these friendships become something that I truly value and they become something of a foundation in the rest of my life.
Well since I'm up the creek without a paddle should I abandon the boat all together? Should I become one of the BBs and content my self with just scoring? I don't think I will do this even it is the most immediately gratifying answer and the easiest. So on behalf of all NGs everywhere I entreat you, I beg you, take a close look at the people around you, at the guys you meet. Try and look past the exterior and the first impression to see what a man is really made out of.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)