Note to the reader. If this seems to be a very self-centered and drawn out whine that's because that is what this basically is. What some would call a whine I shall call the discussion of my problems and if this seems self-centered that's because I can only discuss things from my own perspective.
Ok what is it that girls really want? I mean come on, all you hear about today is girls wanting someone that they can talk to and relate to. That they want someone who will listen to them and at least pretend to give a damn. That they aren't really looking for those "bad boys". Yet who do they always end up with, the "bad" boys of course. Nice guys finish last because THEY ARE NICE GUYS. Nice guys don't say the degrading and sometimes insulting pickup lines that gets you noticed by girls. They don't draw a lot of attention to themselves like bad boys so they aren't going to be noticed this way either. If you are at club the "bad" boys are going to be hitting on girls left and right, bumping and grinding, and feeling them up. The "nice" guys will be the ones that will dance with them but won't be all over them and speaking from experience the girls go with the "bad" boys on this score.
OK let's take a quick look then at why the "bad" boys behave the way they do versus the way "nice" guys (for the sake of convenience BB will be "bad" boys and NG "nice" guys). The BBs tend to be the good-looking jocks with egos that could fill a stadium. They really could care less about the girl or a relationship as long as they can score. This means that they will be all over a lot of different in a short amount of time. They will also be more outrageous and outgoing because they don't care about starting a relationship so they have nothing to lose. The NGs on the other hand are most likely shy and reserved gentlemen. They tend to be the intelligent ones who always got picked on at school and don't have enough self-confidence to fill a balloon. The NG has two major handicaps that the BBs don't have to worry about. First off, NGs generally have low self-confidence to begin with so a rejection or even the fear of rejection can often be enough to keep him from doing anything. Secondly, a NG isn't looking for a one-night-stand. He's not out cruising for chicks just so that he can get lucky. A NG is looking for a lasting relationship. Something that means something and that is a lot harder to find than a willing girl.
I think that covers most of the main differences between BBs and NGs. Now we get to the personal stuff. I am an eighteen-year-old boy who: has never been very popular/outgoing, went to an all boys high school, is a "brain"(honor roll and all that stuff), has always been a "good" boy (I went drinking for the first time this past week!), and I'm a NG. What it basically boils down to is I don't know jack shit about girls and I'm to shy/nice of a guy to just go out cruising.
I We all make our own choices though and I am sick and tired of getting the short end of the stick so I'm starting to do something about it. The problem is that I'm at a loss as to what I should do. By the accounts that I have been given by different girls that are friends of mine I should have girls lining up around the block to meet me. I'm intelligent and moderately good-looking. I can cook, bake, give great massages, love to talk/listen, like to dance, enjoys a well-done "chick" flick, and I write poetry (yes, mostly love). For those of you out there who are thinking it no I am not gay. Most of my best friends are or have been girls and most of the time the friendship started because I was attracted to them. But none of these friendships have grown to be more than that. I'm not saying that I'm only friends with these girls because they are attractive. I'm not the superficial and shallow. Most of these friendships become something that I truly value and they become something of a foundation in the rest of my life.
Well since I'm up the creek without a paddle should I abandon the boat all together? Should I become one of the BBs and content my self with just scoring? I don't think I will do this even it is the most immediately gratifying answer and the easiest. So on behalf of all NGs everywhere I entreat you, I beg you, take a close look at the people around you, at the guys you meet. Try and look past the exterior and the first impression to see what a man is really made out of.