If you have ever been in a relationship where you have the stronger feelings, then you will realize that you had less control of that relationship. Whichever person has less feelings or takes the relationship less seriously, that person will be able to manipulate all of the situations. If this is the case for you then you have to try to turn the situation around so that you are in control or you are at least sharing control.
As the relationship starts:
The best time to put yourself into control is as the relationship is forming. If it forms while she is in control of things then it will most likely stay like that until there is a big change in the relationship. (i.e. feelings change) So do not give into her every desire just yet at least. Even if you like to spoil your girl, hold back on it and just make her happy. Women will test you at the beginning of relationships. She might ask you to take her shopping or to buy her this or that. Any one of those things is an obvious sign. Instead of always reluctantly accepting, take control and decline in a nice way. English is fortunate to have ways of saying no in very nice ways. There are many euphimisms that can be put to good use. Tell her you will get it for her on her birthday. After you say that, if you really want to spoil her, get it for her as a surprise at the end of the week. This way you make her happy, but she is not in control.
You're in a relationship and she has control:
If you are unfortunate enough to not be in control of your relationship you are probably always going through ordeals and it seems your partner is having it on easy streak. This is not so. In almost every case when lovers have arguments both of them are in distress, it is just that only one of them will show or tell how they feel. If you want to be in control of the relationship you must first learn to control yourself. Learn to control not telling your feelings all the time; after all, they are your feelings.
When your partner has control over you they know it. You have to find a way to turn it around. You have to show them that they do not control you. Do not always be the person to call them back when you hang up on each other. This situation is very important and happens in every relationship. Give her the orders. If she hangs up on you and waits for you to call back...don't! Get comfortable doing something else and take her off your mind for the moment. When she calls back stay mad at her for hanging up. Make her the one that apologizes. It is okay if the woman takes control sometimes but you have to put your foot down for things that you want to do. If the superbowl is on you tell her there is nothing that will pry you off of the couch and make her understand that. The main thing is put your foot down and do not give in. She will come to her senses. Most women like their man to have a sense of control over them anyway.